"Almost" Relationships

“Almost relationships” can hurt just as bad when they end as real ones. The last few months I’ve been reading blog after blog about “almost relationships," clicking on them every time they would pop up on my newsfeed and although I was in one, I never thought mine would end up like it did for these girls. I can remember dating my ex fiancé and listening to one of my friends vent about how the guy she has been seeing for a few months just decided he wasn’t feeling it. I can remember being annoyed and thinking “this isn’t even a real relationship.” And Karma has come back to bite me in the butt. (sorry, friend)

I swore it would work out with this guy I’d been seeing; we did everything a normal couple would do. We had chemistry better than I even had with my ex, I’d jump out of my skin to see his name appear on my phone, I couldn’t wait to hear about his day, and all he did was "want to take care of me." I can remember him saying “I am going to always take care of you.” That’s the thing with “almost relationships...” there is no certainty.

 “Almost relationships” almost always end terribly. You're led to believe it’s going places and that you guys are great! But the minute they are over it, “we weren’t actually together” is their excuse.

Hold on though, buddy…

• Did we not go on dates instead of just “chill”?
• Did you not kiss me the second you saw me?
• Did we not spend time with my family?
• Did we not hold hands and kiss while out and about?
• Did we not fall asleep watching TV?

Oh, and it must’ve been my imagination or did you not tell that guy at the bar not to touch “your girls” butt?

"We weren’t together," he says, but then why did we do everything a “together” couple would do? Then after two months of talking everyday, it ends and you have to just move on, because it would look bad to actually express the fact that you’re hurting because you weren’t “actually together." The worst part is... you may never even get the real reason it ended.

It hurts, I’m not going to lie. You fall for these guys and the idea that you’re on the same page, moving toward a real relationship. Then he just walks away like it was nothing at all.

You tell yourself you’re not going to text him your daily “hope your day is going well,” but 9 pm rolls around, you haven’t heard from him, and you're laying in bed on your 5th Netflix episode of the show you’ve been bingeing (in my case, Shameless) and you feel that tug… Why hasn’t he texted? Doesn’t he miss me? I wonder if he is thinking of me. I’ll just send him a quick text so he knows I’m not mad. Ladies… we all do it. We’ve all been in this state of mind, but can someone just tell me why it is so much easier for guys?! You do not need a title in order to feel for someone and be heartbroken when it ends. You are not crazy even though he may say you are. We don’t open our hearts to just anyone... and to open it and then have the door closed shut is hard.

We need to be pursued, ladies. I am the number one hypocrite when it comes to this, just ask my friends. I say we need to be pursued, but then I do all the pursuing. If I could give myself advice, I’d say stop making it so darn easy for the boys.  Scripture makes it very clear:

“The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing” (Ephesians 5:23)

God pursues us daily, yearning for our love and affection, wanting to hold and lead us. Ladies, that is what we must expect from a man. We need to be pursued like God has pursued us (the church). We need men who will pursue us daily, yearning for our love and affection, wanting to hold and lead us. There is no better example of the love we deserve then the love our Heavenly father has shown us. I am not going to lie, I struggle to follow my own advice, and I continue to do all the pursuing because I feel like I’m in control of the situation and will be less likely to get hurt.

But we are not in control. You are worth the chase. Don’t settle for "almost."