“Again Jesus said, ‘Peace be with you, as the Father is sending me, I am sending you.’” John 20:22
These past few months have been quite the roller coaster, not only for me, but for the fresh, new youth ministry team I’ve recently joined. Four completely different individuals have been joined together for one purpose: to help serve and lead Jesus’ beloved treasures. Within several weeks of each other we were all hired as the new Middle School team. If you were to ask me prior to signing on for the job, with the utmost affection, I would have given you a hard pass to work with such an age. Frankly, I would tell anyone this was not the age group for me. God knew my heart better than I knew myself and I have found myself in this uncharted area of ministry: Middle School. And once again, without fail, He gently revealed to me I was EXTREMELY wrong in my statement. Middle Schoolers are my new jam.
Looking back, I was putting a limit on myself and the Lord’s power to use me. Do not put a cap on what God can and cannot do in YOU. You are one of power and one with the ability to change the game. Selling the power within me short, I almost completely snuffed out and opportunity that has turned into one of the greatest blessings. My heart has broken for these kids, their families, and for my teammates. I’ve become an empathetic mess in the best way possible. Christ has shown me more of his heart and because of that my eyes continue to be opened and my love has continued to grow. Before taking this job, I had every intention to do something completely different with the next stage of my life. God stopped me right in my tracks saying, “Kel, I know your desires and your heart. You have more to learn HERE, more room to grow, and a chance to influence.” With that I couldn’t help but take the job. This restlessness that stirred within my heart was exchanged for a peace from the Spirit and with obedience Christ reminded me He is the one who sends. And once again I sit in awe of the One who knows me.
This story is very different, but similar amongst my teammates. We were not the ones seeking too strongly to be here, but somehow we have found our way here. Our hearts have been and continue to be molded to keep our posture before the Lord. Jesus is the one that sends. We are the ones who get to submit to him and bask in the fruit of the direction he has for us individually. No one knows you better than the one who made you. The one who calls you by name, who chooses to love you beyond what we can fathom. He knows your desires and wants what is best for you. He is sending YOU. It might take some pruning and refining, but those are the moments where we humble ourselves, trust, and gain strength. In these moments, we become sharper and stronger.
Leave room for silence, for possibility, for beauty, for more. Allow space for the Holy Spirit to move. With that we put our agendas aside, submit our structures, and offer it to the One in charge. It sure is a vulnerable space to be in and I’ve been uncomfortable more than I’d like to be daily, but trust me on this one, I would not change it for the world. During spurts of questioning and uncertainty, Christ has filled me with a peace that overcomes any fear or doubt. He wants to do the same for you. He WANTS to fill you with His perfect peace. Take time to listen for His voice. Align your heart with His, so that when you are sent out wherever you may go, He is represented in a manner that is glorifying to Him.
Peace be with you, dear heart.