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Know Your ✟rue Value

Justine Oertel

Worth: the value equivalent to that of someone or something under consideration; the level at which someone or something deserves to be valued or rated.

What are you worth? Or to be a little bit more real, what is the level at which you deserve to be valued and rated?

We may try to convince ourselves that we deserve to be valued, but often our actions indicate otherwise. The dark reality is that under the surface, many of our hearts are in a constant state of competition with ourselves and others to prove our worth. We go to great lengths to prove to ourselves that we are good enough; worthy of love and attention. We seek validation from things outside of ourselves because it makes us feel good and gives us confidence and satisfaction in ourselves. Until we are aware of where we are seeking our worth, we are bound to that which we are seeking it from. We are drawing from a well that will only leave us thirsty, seeking over and over again to prove to ourselves that we are good enough. It’s exhausting. It wears you down. It makes you question who you are, and often makes you wonder if the you that everyone sees is truly the real you.

We all in our human weakness fall into this trap. But how it happens looks different in each person.  If you were to take honest inventory of yourself, you would likely fall into one of the following 3 categories, or perhaps overlap into multiple of them.

1. You find your worth in others.  

  • Relationships mean the world to you, and you always have to be in one. You feel wanted and valued when you are in a relationship. You are seeking this so much, that you are willing to be in a relationship where you are not treated as you should, or even with someone who you don’t truly love, because it is better than the alternative of being alone.
  • You find you your validation in the feeling that others need or appreciate your efforts. You exhaust yourself trying to serve others and receive their gratitude, because it makes you feel needed and appreciated. You often make yourself vulnerable enough to be taken advantage of in order to be needed.
  • You can’t be alone: you find your value in the identity of the people who you’re with. You feel empty inside so you try to surround yourself with people who have what you want or are who you want to be.

2. You find your worth in accomplishments.

  • Success is your best friend. Whether it be in a career, sport, or activity, you are driven by the idea of winning, and feel terrible about yourself when you don’t.
  • Your competitive nature goes beyond healthy, because how you feel about yourself is dependent on what you can accomplish.
  • You are never satisfied with what you have. It is never enough.
  • You are in an exhaustive state of comparison with those around you, trying to see how you measure up.

3. You find your worth in people’s perception of you.

(This is the most comprehensive list, and most self-explanatory, as it relates to every aspect of life.)

  • You obsess over your physical appearance, and are always wondering what people are thinking of you.
  • You don’t pursue your true dreams and desires for fear that people may judge you.
  • You determine your worth by the people you hang out with.
  • You are wiling to go to great lengths to earn a spot in a specific crowd.
  • You obsessively check social media, and seek approval through your notifications.
  • You feel pressure to achieve to a certain social or economic status in order to live up to family or friends expectations.
  • You hide your true feelings for fear of being misunderstood or ridiculed.
  • You work or are working towards a career that you are not happy or does not suit your talents simply because of its appearance to others
  • You find fulfillment in knowing that other people like you
  • You replay criticisms and compliments from others over and over in your head.

After reading through these bullet points, most of us find ourselves replaying circumstances in our head that will place us one or more of these groups. To be completely transparent, groups 2 and 3 have bound me for most of my life. The funny thing is, it wasn’t until I was in a season of struggle that my eyes were opened to it. You see, finding value in these things, though exhausting, can be temporarily fulfilling when circumstances are going well. The problem is, they aren’t permanent. In fact, they are quite fragile. The moment you get broken up with, you lose your job, or you are criticized, your value and self worth comes crumbling down with the fragile identity you have created for yourself. The reality is, as long as we are succumbing  to the descriptions in this list, we are bound to that which we are seeking our worth from.

Value in the temporal is fleeting. But there is one source of value that is not fleeting, not temporary and not fragile.  One source in the entire world that is not dependent upon circumstance. One relationship that will never let you down. One accomplishment that will last forever. One opinion of you that will never change. This source is permanent and unchanging, that which you can have the utmost confidence in.

Jesus is the perfect friend, in that he will never leave nor forsake you. His victory on the cross will never fail, and cannot be taken away. It will last forever. His opinion of you is unchanging, because He is unchanging. And He says you have immeasurable worth that can never be taken away from you. Don’t believe me? Here’s what God’s word says about you:

  1. I am created in God’s image. (Ephesians 4:24)
  2. I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
  3. I am God’s incredible work of art (Ephesians 2:10)
  4. I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139)
  5. I am chosen (1 Thessalonians 1:4)
  6. My life is hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)
  7. I have boldness and confidence to access God through faith in Christ (Ephesians 3:12)
  8. I am redeemed and forgiven (Ephesians 1:7)
  9. I have been set free (Galatians 5:1)
  10. I am no longer a slave (Galatians 4:7)
  11. I am accepted by Christ (Romans 15:7)
  12. The peace of God guards my heart and mind (Philippians 4:7)
  13. God supplies all of my needs (Philippians 4:19)

Lord, I am thankful that I am who you say that I am. Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice, and that I no longer have to strive for my internal value, but because of what you did on the cross, I can rest in who I am in you.

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