Confidence in ☼ or ☂

We have all had those days when we don’t feel as confident as usual, and we start to wonder if we’re good enough. As women, it may seem like we are constantly comparing ourselves to others and underestimating the value we have.

As it turns out, there is research that shows men generally have higher levels of self-esteem than women! Researchers found that self-esteem tends to increase with age, and that men at every age tended to have higher levels of self-esteem than women worldwide. The self-esteem gap tended to be larger in individualistic, prosperous nations like the United States!*

This study should motivate us as women to work on our self-confidence! We all have amazing gifts to share with the world, and lower self-esteem shouldn’t hold us back. With that in mind, I would love to share a few of the ways that I have become more confident.

I have never been a naturally confident person. Growing up, I was always the girl who had a hard time accepting compliments and feeling proud of projects that I was working on. I always felt like I could do better.

Over time, I have developed a higher self-esteem, but it’s definitely something that I still need to work on. In the past year, I have made a purposeful effort to become more confident and increase my self-esteem.

Here’s some of the ways that I have built my own self-confidence over the past year. Enjoy!

➳ Getting Healthy

While changing my diet and focusing on working out has helped me to lose weight and get in shape, I think this affected my self-esteem in more than one way. Of course, when you’re fitting into smaller clothes and getting closer to a healthier weight, you’re going to feel more confident. Every pound I lost was exciting, and I liked what I was seeing in the mirror more and more every day.

But life isn’t all about appearances. What should really matter is what’s within, and becoming healthier has changed me inside and out. Since I started eating healthier foods and running a few days a week, I have more energy and feel more motivated to accomplish goals. And since I feel like I am getting more done, I feel more confident in my abilities.

As you start your own journey toward becoming more confident, think about ways that you can get more healthy. Whether it’s committing to a daily workout or making an effort to get more vegetables in, I’m sure that over time you will start feeling a lot better, and in turn, you will feel more confident.

➳ Taking on Challenges

Something else that I decided to do this year was take on challenges. I know it seems a little counterintuitive for someone who is working on self-confidence. Like, what if I ended up failing and making a fool out of myself? That certainly wouldn’t help me to become more confident. But in reality, doing things that I may be scared of has actually made me realize how much I’m able to do.

One thing that I did this year was create my own blog. This is something that I had wanted to do for a long time, but I didn’t feel confident enough in my own abilities as a writer. I wasn’t sure if I had anything good to say, and I definitely wasn’t sure if I wanted my thoughts to be available to anyone who owns a computer.

When I pushed the publish button on that first blog post, I had to push aside all of the negative thoughts that were racing around in my head. There was a chance that my blog would be a big flop and no one would want to read what I had to say. On the other hand, there was a chance that I could help people with my words and connect with others across the world.

I decided that I was willing to take the risk, and I have only had positive reactions so far. This has made me feel more confident in my ideas and writing, and I have a much higher self-esteem knowing that I can do something I love successfully.

Is there anything that you have been dying to do, but you’re too nervous to try it out? Take a chance and go for it. You may be surprised by your own abilities, and no matter what, you can always learn from every opportunity that you explore.

➳ Working on Positivity

I think it’s a good practice to work on sharing positivity with everyone around you, but the best place to start is with yourself. I absolutely believe that we can be our own worst critics sometimes, and that is certainly the case for me. In school, I was a perfectionist, and I held myself to a very high standard when it came to good grades. Now that I’m no longer in school, I still try to push myself to be the best that I can be. While I always learn from mistakes, it’s often hard for me to accept them at first.

Our thoughts can have a bigger impact on our confidence than we realize. How are you supposed to accomplish anything and feel good about it when your mind is constantly telling you how unworthy you are?

This year, I have been mindful about how I perceive myself. There are so many times when I can feel myself getting ready to think a negative thought, but I stop it in its tracks, and try to think more positively. I try to remind myself that I’m doing the best that I can. I shouldn’t focus on what’s gone wrong in my life. Instead, I should remember how lucky I am and how many amazing things that I have been able to do.

I know it can be hard sometimes to be positive and see the good things that are happening in your life. But if you make a conscious effort to do that, you will see that you will feel happier and more confident every day.

I hope that this advice might inspire you to work on your own self-confidence. I have done a lot of things that I’m proud of over the past year, but working on how I feel about myself has definitely been one of the most important things. Don’t forget, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, and you deserve to know that.

* In a 2016 study, Wiebke Bleidorn, PhD, of the University of California, Davis, and other researchers analyzed survey data from over 985,000 men and women ages 16-45 from 48 countries. The data was collected from July 1999 to December 2009, and researchers compared self-reported self-esteem, gender and age.