Praising ✞ Amongst Infertility

Wife, teacher, and actress Megan Seager is as bright as the sun: with a cheery smile, a warm heart, and a natural ability to make strangers feel like close friends. Having gotten married almost three years ago, Megan knew she eventually wanted to have a family.

As a Christian, Megan opens up about the struggles with fertility, having experienced a miscarriage and been on a program to become pregnant. She understands that God is in complete control, even through the tough times. Megan is still as bright as ever, keeping her eyes locked on Jesus Christ and His love. Thank you for sharing your message of His hope, Megan!

Adjusted from Megan's previous articles:

After many medicated cycles of Clomid or Femara with different doses of each, we were still not pregnant…. again. I went to a fertility clinic. It felt like defeat. I mean, I was already pregnant (at one time)… and it happened NATURALLY… so why am I not getting pregnant now? Are we really going to spend this kind of money on something we may not really need? I did all the tests required, and so did my husband Joe. We figured we would keep trying for a few months on our own… we wouldn’t need this, right? Wrong.

I would consider myself a person of strong faith. (LCMS Lutheran to be exact.  Can I get a whoop whoop?!)  But even so, the miscarriage last fall hit me in a way nothing in my life ever had. Depression. Anxiety. Anger. Jealousy. Avoidance. Crying (LOTS of crying). Fear. Questioning.  Doesn’t sound like I was very pleasant to be around, huh? I wasn’t. But, I never questioned my faith. Through it all, I still knew God was there. And I wanted Him to know I was angry with Him. Very angry. Here we are, a married couple. A Christian, married couple! A Christian, married, couple with great jobs, minimal debt, strong family support… why did this happen to us?

I believe everything happens for a reason, and through this I have developed a blog to express my feelings. I find it extremely important to be open with our struggles as Christians, and these are the reasons I feel writing everything down serves as a means of hope and aid to others in need (and myself)!

☼ Reason #1: “I’m not insane, people!”

I find it important to let others in on personal struggles so they understand our emotions. When everything (concerning my fertility) first started happening last Fall, I was severely depressed. This was a feeling I’d never felt before in my life. We were one week and one day away from telling our families we were pregnant, and we just needed to get to Thanksgiving. Then it (the miscarriage) happened. I knew I would not be able to function as though this were a normal Thanksgiving. I mean, I could barely stop crying enough to leave the house. So I posted on Facebook for all the world to see. This allowed me to feel and do whatever I needed on Thanksgiving, at work, or anywhere I went. I had an “excuse” of sorts.

Some of the reason I write my experience (through my blog) is very similar. While I like to consider myself an “actress,”  I’m not the best at acting as though everything is “okay” during some of the most difficult moments in my life.  I’m a cryer. In fact, I think my kindergarten teacher told my parents in my first parent teacher conference that I was a great little gal, with the exception of my constant tears.

What can I say, I’m free with my emotions!  Anyway, being open makes things a lot less awkward to co-workers and friends who may find me randomly crying or overall not acting myself from time to time.

Don't be afraid to share!

☼ Reason #2: Being a voice for others

There is not a lot of talk about infertility out in the public sphere. Now, I’m not going all “uber feminist” here and trying to force this information down people’s throats by any means. But being able to openly talk about this subject with those I work with during lunch, or friends out in public has made the experience much more manageable. Furthermore, as a result of my being open, I was contacted/comforted by countless women (whom I had no idea had gone through similar situations). And boy, have these women been of tremendous help and support.

I can only hope that by sharing my story in a public fashion, others going through similar situations would feel comfort in knowing they are not alone.  And would know they could contact me if they ever needed to talk!

☼ Reason #3: Hold yourself accountable, Megan!

Nearly my entire educational life was spent in Christian day school. I consider myself invaluably blessed to have had the opportunity to learn both about God’s love while also learning the traditional “educational standards” of the day.   While I may appear in my blog to be strongly founded in my faith and trust in God, I can admit that my true “foundation” is in my knowledge of how I SHOULD feel according to Christ’s teachings.

I don’t always have a level, trusting, faithful head on my shoulders. But I know deep down, that I should. I know God is there, and I should trust him. (I guess the faith part is pretty strong… but the trust… ugh! That’s a hard one for me!) So I write. I look for the connections, the “blessings,” all around me, and I write them down. I post them to the world to keep myself an honest, accountable, Christian woman. And it works.  Every time I do so, I feel Christ’s loving arms around me as though He is guiding my fingers to type each word. The anxiety in the waiting becomes subdued. And I can be at peace to enjoy the blessings around me.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to Him,
and He will make your paths straight.

Proverbs 3: 5-6

Find encouragement through Megan's Christ-paved journey.