A Season of Singleness

To my fellow single sisters, do you have a case of the winter blues? As we transition from fall to winter, some of us begin to grow as bitter as the frigid winter air. Fortunately for you, I have your solution. All you need is a perspective as fresh as falling snow…and maybe some Vitamin D.  Although winter brings frost bite, alternate side parking, and an increased utility bill, it also brings twinkle lights, the best shopping deals of the year, and Michael Bublé songs on the radio. Our stubbornness and negativity, often times, hinder us from enjoying the season. Just as winter falls short when compared to summer, many of us believe that experiencing a season of singleness can’t be as enjoyable as being in a relationship. 

From a girl who has twenty-three years of experience in the singleness department (that’s right…TWENTY-THREE YEARS), let me suggest a few things that will ensure your season of singleness is one filled with cheer and NOT with tears! 

Prioritize your relationship with God

-- As corny and cliché as it may sound, if you’re really itching to go on a date, then go on one with Jesus. Explore your city and find a charming coffee shop off the beaten track. Enjoy the heaven in a cup that is a peppermint mocha, turn on your coffeehouse Spotify playlist, and crack open God’s word. You may soon realize that your value and your worth is, in fact, not determined by your relationship status but, rather, is determined by how God views you. The more time you spend in the Word, the more you will understand the overwhelmingly genuine love He has for you. If you have a difficult time opening your Bible and gaining valuable insight, take advantage of the countless resources available to you. There are many devotionals designed to enhance your understanding of the Bible and, in turn, facilitate both personal and spiritual growth. 

-- Obey Jesus’ command to “go make disciples of all nations” (Matthew 28:19) and travel to a new place. Although you can minister to your family members, friends, classmates, and co-workers where you are now, why not use your time and freedom to travel to a part of the world that you’ve never been before? Eat exotic foods, embrace people from different cultures, and learn how to say “Jesus loves you” in a new language. Allow God to reveal Himself to you in new ways, in new places, and through new people. Let Him break your heart for the world, provide you with a new perspective, and produce a passion within you that you have never experienced.

Focus on the relationships you DO have

I have noticed that we often focus SO much on the one relationship that we don’t (yet) have, that we take the many relationships that God has already blessed us with for granted. A common saying is “Love is spelled T-I-M-E.” Use this time in your life to love, support, and show up for your loved ones. Purchase a T-shirt your aspiring-graphic-designer-friend created, buy a brownie at your mom’s bake-sale, financially support a mission trip your friend is planning to attend, send your brother a care package, complete with his favorite treats, read an article your sister wrote for a trendy magazine, cheer the loudest at your roommate’s diving meet, and give your pal a standing ovation at their musical performance. There will never be a shortage of ways to show your loved ones that you value them.

 In addition to this, demonstrate vulnerability within your friendships. Have you ever had a crush on a guy that seems to have a crush on every other girl… except for you? Does the enemy ever convince you that the reason you’re single is because you’re too much of this and/or not enough of that? Do you doubt God’s goodness and His ability to provide you with your prince charming? Have you spent waaayyyyy too much time developing a “Wedding” Pinterest board?

If you answered “yes” to any or all of these questions, talk to your friends about it! Share your insecurities, fears, and frustrations with one another. After all, we are called to “carry each other’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2) and to “consider how to encourage each other to show love and to do good things" (Hebrews 10:24). Therefore, give encouragement and biblical advice gently, generously, and lovingly. Vulnerability, as difficult as it may be, allows God to work in beautiful and life-transforming ways. Apostle Paul (who was single, FYI) boasted in his struggles, for he knew that the power of God was “made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9).

Have some fun!

• Get margaritas with your girls and have conversations only in “ermagersh” language 
• Stay up late listening to Sam Hunt radio and playing board games with your closest friends
• I dare you to go on a road trip and listen to every song Justin Bieber has ever recorded
• Eat some football-shaped snacks at a neighbor’s Packer party

Invest in yourself

-- Although it is vitally important to give your loved ones time, don’t be afraid to have a night to yourself! Grab a glass of moscato, a heated blanket, and demolish an entire season of Scandal on Netflix. No shame.

-- Work-out regularly and eat healthy. Your body houses the Holy Spirit! I don’t know about you, but I often forget about how cool that is. Treat it with the upmost respect.

-- Seize new opportunities that God places before you. You have no strings holding you down and, therefore, can do whatever you want, whenever you want. If you’re a college graduate, apply for jobs all over the country. Heck, apply for jobs all over the WORLD! Don’t let fear and uncertainty stop you from following your heart. God is always giving us opportunities to trust in His provision. When you accept a position, whatever it may be, work hard at it! Be responsible with the money you make, but don’t be stingy. Although it’s important to pay your rent, chip away at your student debt, and save up for your magical dream wedding, feel free to buy those suede wedges... and don't sweat that extra $1.95 on guacamole at Chipotle.

When you seem to be in the midst of a storm, remember that, with a slight attitude change, that blizzard could look like a whole lot of glitter. ;) Every season has something beautiful to offer. Will you enjoy your singleness while it lasts?