Milk and Honey Magazine's advice on how to be a Godly, loving, lovely woman on faith!

Velvet Coated Steel

Paige Weslaski

Figure out the type of woman you want to become, and then become her.

I'm single. I have lots of free time for the different clubs and boards and sports and volunteer opp's I'm involved in. I have lots of free time to spend at coffee shops and the gym with my friends. I have lots of time to read and write and dream and bundle up in big scarves to take long walks on chilly March mornings. I have time. I have a decent amount of money saved for trips and shows and activities. I have time to grow, and mold, and shift my demeanor into the woman I want to be for the rest of my life.

I was recently interviewed and asked to describe my "ideal" self in 3 words. My answer?

Velvet coated steel.

Steel is strong and firm, as hard as a rock, and is not shaken even from the most massive of storms. It's grounded and expensive and grand. It outlines the building of mighty towers and skyscrapers and memorials and athletic stadiums.

Just like the quote, I know the type of woman I want to be, now I'm doing my best to become her. I want my faith in God to be strong like steel. I want my faith to be expensive in the sense of putting lots of work into studying the Word of God and spending time with likeminded friends and mentors. I want my decisions to be sound. I want my trust in God to be unwavering, even in the largest of hurricanes. I want my faith in God to set the foundation for His plans for me, whether that means creating a metaphorical steel-cut swing set or a glorious skyscraper. Either is fine with me, as long as He looks down from Heaven and sees me as steel, not wood or glass that can be easily broken or shattered.

As a (work in progress) woman of God, I want to be firm like steel, but I also want to be humble and gentle and caring and forgiving and generous. I want to know what and why I believe what I believe, but I want my door to always be open. I want to be loving to everyone, even if they see things differently than me. I want to be soft to the touch like velvet, not rough like sand paper.

When I think of the women of the Bible, they all lived like velvet coated steel.

Mary, Mother of Jesus, was a servant who had the strength to tell Jesus to turn the water into wine, even after he said it was "not yet His time." She was firm to even suggest He use His power before He planned. Likewise, she was one of the most humble, servant-like women in all the world according to the angel Gabriel.

Queen Esther was the most beautiful woman in the entire land of Persia. She was chosen, as a commoner, to become the queen because of her beauty. She was a classy woman who wore classy jewelry. Yet, when she was faced with a major crisis, she stood firm in order to save thousands of Jews (even putting her own life on the line)!

Ruth was both strong and gentle. When given a fork in the road of her life, she proved her strength by choosing to stay by her mother-in-law's side. Living daily life in a foreign country, she worked as a lowly field-hand and was raised up to become wife of the wealthiest man in town.

Be forewarned, our society often teaches us women to be too strong, especially to shy away from help from a man and to live our lives as independently as possible. Although I agree independence for a short time is beneficial in growing as a woman, loving and serving those around us is extremely crucial. We are called to be confident and unwavering in our faith, yet servant-like and gentle in our words/actions.

I was recently at the gym and saw a snippet of a reality show. I watched as a woman in modern-day Los Angeles brought a tray of tea and scones to her husband. While some would find that old-fashioned and degrading, I thought it was a beautiful demonstration of how a woman should serve not only her man, but the world. 

Let's live like velvet coated steel. Let's stand strong in our faith and not conform to the world and its fables.

Let's live as loving, soft, gentle women in a world of sandpaper.

We will no longer be immature like children. We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ.  (Ephesians 4)