Milk and Honey Magazine's 20 ways to love your husband through knowing his love language, not complaining, and loving him in a Christlike way!

Loving Your Husband

Meredith Helm

We say “I love you” to our spouses often, but actions speak louder than words. It’s much easier to say I love you than to show it. When thinking of ways you can love your husband, you’ll want to think first “what is his love language?” Here is an article that explains the love languages in depth.

The five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. I know I love physical touch and quality time, so a back rub and a long walk together while holding hands is a dream to me, but my husband’s love language is words of affirmation and acts of service, so he would feel loved if I washed the dishes for him and told him how much I appreciated his hard work for us.

When showing love to your husband, think of what he would really enjoy and what would speak to his love language, not necessarily what would make you feel loved. Below is a list of 20 ways you can show love to your husband, and they cover all the love languages so you’re sure to find ideas that will suit your husband’s needs.

#1 - Discover what his love language is (The most important step to learning how to show him love in a way he will most feel cared for)

#2 - Write him a letter or make him a homemade card and write a sweet note in it

#3 - Do something HE loves even if it’s not your favorite thing to do

#4 - Make his favorite meal for dinner

#5 - Ask him how you can help him today, and then follow through with it

#6 - Go a whole day without correcting him

#7 - Remind him how blessed you are to be his wife and thank him for all the things he does for your family. It’s important (and can be so difficult) to avoid telling our husbands what they could work on. We have a million things we as wives could work on as well. Instead, pray for the change you want to see in your husband, and pray for God to reveal to you how you could become a better wife as well.

#8 - Bring out the lingerie… ‘nough said  ;)

#9 - Don’t pressure your husband by looking to him to be your “happy” or your “everything”. It can be easy to idolize your husband and depend on him to make you happy without even really trying to. Honestly, it’s not his job to make you happy. Yes, he should absolutely love you and treasure you but he is human and will fail just like you do. That is why God should be the one who gives us our joy everyday and who should always be our “everything”. If you try to make your husband take on that roll, you are ultimately setting him up for failure and being unfair to him.

#10 - PLAY! You are never too old to play and flirt with each other. It’s healthy and helps keep the spark alive! My husband Luke and I get in tickle fights on the daily and are constantly competing against each other. For example, we race up our 3 flights of stairs to see who can get to our apartment first, and it’s always spontaneous. One of us will just take off at random and a race has begun. I’m sure to everyone else it’s annoying as all get out but we have so much fun competing against each other and making things a game.

#11 - Give him more space, or stop creating so much space. This one depends on your relationship with your husband. Some wives and husbands may find that there is too much space between the two of them in their relationship and some quality time together would do wonders. For me, I love nothing more than to spend hours on end with my husband but sometimes he just wants some space to be alone and do his thing and I honor that. Every husband is different.

#12 - Give him a kiss and a hug first thing when he gets home from work

#13 - If he takes a lunch to work, pack his lunch for him the night before. Or, I like to make my husband breakfast every morning because he leaves for work before I do. I know he loves pancakes in the morning so almost every morning I get up when he gets up and while he’s showering I make him pancakes and pour his coffee. I know it makes his morning easier on him and it gives us time to read our Bibles together over breakfast before we leave for work. I honestly love doing this for him and it doesn’t feel like work to me. Serving your spouse can be a lot of fun, especially when you know it’s helping them out and they really appreciate it.

#14 - Hold his hand when walking somewhere. A simple act of grabbing his hand shows that your proud he’s your husband and plus I just love holding my man’s big strong hand!

#15 - Buy him his favorite snack or drink when grocery shopping. I have been doing this one since we started dating and it never fails to make my husband happy when he sees I bought a special treat for him.

#16 - Pray for your husband. The power of prayer is incredible. Here is an awesome simple blog post that lists 10 ways to pray for your husband with Bible verses to back them up. click here

#17 - Say thank you. Take the time to notice the little things your husband does for you around the house that can go unnoticed and thank him for it.

#18 - Give him a back rub and back scratches.

#19 - Apologize meaningfully and forgive easily. Don’t give your husband the cold shoulder or hold a grudge when he did something you don’t like or made a mistake. Remember how much you mess up too, remember he’s human, and apologize. And when he is the one apologizing, forgive him easily. Don’t try to make him work for it. Remember grace, because God knows how much I need grace too.

#20 - Serve your husband with the little things. When you get up to leave the room, ask if they need anything. A simple act can still show love in a big way.

Marriage can be hard work, but by thinking of yourself less and your spouse more, showing them love will come easily. What are some other ways you like to show your husband love?

Read up on the gorgeous author, Meredith! xo