Singleness ≠ Loneliness

God created Eve at the perfect moment.

Adam was likely a bit lonely before meeting his bride, but God wanted enough time to cause his heart to yearn for Mrs. Right. During this period of Adam's singleness, God prepared him to be a stellar husband, with homework to name each animal and to grow acquainted with the Garden of Eden. Adam must have been so excited when his princess finally came!

But dare I make a suggestion to God? Maybe, just maybe, it could have been wise for God to create Eve and place her on the opposite side of the garden for a while before presenting her to Adam. She could have spent time as a single woman, alone with God to bask in His greatness. It could have prepared her to have stronger faith as a wife and to ignore the serpent's mind games!

Spending single time to fix our focus on Jesus works wonders for our future marriages. At Milk & Honey, we suggest waiting for a relationship until being 100% comfortable alone. Once Jesus has become #1 (and 2 and 3 and 4) in our lives, He'll finally know we're ready for the man He's prepared. Adequately waiting will combat an insecure marriage and will lay a foundation for a long, lasting life with our partner.

Now's the time to ask ourselves, "Is my ideal husband looking for someone with the exact characteristics I have?" This is our time to become that girl! And throughout our singleness, we've uncovered some gems of wisdom below!

Sermons you'll adore:

Fix Your Focus by Pastor Steven Furtick

Love Sex & Dating by Andy Stanley

On Dating by Carl Lentz

Choosing the Right Spouse by the Wilkersons

Articles/e-books you'll devour:

The Lipstick Gospel by Stephanie Wilson

Why Everyone Should Be Single for a Year by Thought Catalog

Tired of Waiting For Love by Thought Catalog

Books you'll obsess over:

Finding Your Prince by yours truly!

When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric/Leslie Ludy

Songs to blast:

You Lead by Jamie Grace

Stronger by Mandisa

Broken Things by Matthew West

The Comeback by Danny Gokey

The Maker by Chris August

Wisdom to write on your heart:

Proverbs 31:25 says that a virtuous woman is “clothed with strength and dignity.” But today’s women are typically the opposite — instead of strong and dignified, modern femininity is all too often weak (i.e. desperate), unguarded, and indiscreet. Just think about these familiar scenarios: Women who throw themselves at men, desperately seeking love and validation through the attention and approval of a guy … Girls who dress provocatively, tossing feminine dignity to the wind in an attempt to draw male attention … Women who have no discretion on social media, publicly posting all of their most intimate thoughts and feelings for the entire world to see.

When women choose to embrace godly strength and dignity, it sets an inspiring example for today’s men. When guys observe a woman who holds to a higher standard than the cheap, desperate femininity of our culture, he is intrigued. And often, he is motivated to become the kind of man who is worthy of that kind of woman’s heart. Flirtatious, sensual women are a dime a dozen today. But a strong, godly woman who guards her heart, exemplifies feminine mystery and dignity, and doesn’t compromise her standards is rare indeed.

If you want to inspire gentlemanly behavior in the men around you, ask God to shape you into a woman of strength, dignity, mystery, and godly discretion. The men in your life might not immediately respond... but eventually, they will gain a deep respect and admiration for the strength they see in your life, and they will be inspired to rise up to the same standard.

Here are a few key tips on becoming a woman of strength and dignity:

Be discreet with your words, especially in your digital life. Don’t jump on the cultural bandwagon and showcase all your intimate hopes, fears, dreams, and struggles to the world. Guard the private and sacred aspects of your life, and it will inspire men to help protect those things too. (See Proverbs 11:22.)

If you are single, don’t throw yourself at men — flirting, immodesty, strategically pursuing men for selfish gratification — all of these are behaviors demonstrated by the sensual woman in Proverbs 7. And God does not mince words about where that path leads:  “Her house is the way to hell, descending to the chambers of death” (Prov. 7:27).

Find your fulfillment in Christ, whether married or single. If you are looking to men to satisfy your deepest needs, you will not be able to exude strength and dignity. Only Christ can be your All in all and fulfill the deepest needs of your heart and soul. Don’t expect a human relationship to take the place of Christ in your life. When Jesus is your First Love, you can smile at the future and be a woman of strength and dignity no matter what circumstances you find yourself in!  (See Proverbs 31:25 and Psalm 107:9.)

Leslie Ludy, The Return of Honorable Manhood