I have been married to the love of my life for almost four years; years that have flown. And I am happy to say, relationship-wise, the good largely outweighed the bad. Here's our secret: we never stopped dating, even into marriage.
Sure, there were times we derailed and our weekly date night would get pushed around like it wasn't important. But when that happened, we could see a negative vibe slowly forming in our relationship.
The date nights have varied over the years. Often, it was a question of what we could do on our budget (we have all been there!). However, that wasn't an excuse. Our favorite date night - in brutal honesty - is cooking something horrible for our bodies (eek!) and binge watching movies all night. Can you tell we're homebodies? All that mattered was it was just us two, and we were unplugged from the rest of the world.
That is the key to a successful date night with your man: UNPLUG from the world! Turn off your phones, ipads, laptops, etc, and just focus on each other. Actually speak without any distractions! Be intimate with each other! Connect with your husband on a deep level. This time with your spouse will grow your marriage like you can't even imagine.
So, you might be asking, "What do your date nights look like, Kylie?" Let me share with ya!
Our rules include a) no phones; b) just the two of us; and c) having fun!
My husband is my best friend; I could spend everyday all day with him and not be bored. I think that is also why we have a successful relationship and successful date nights. Usually, we both are already thinking the same thing the afternoon of the date night... LET'S STAY HOME! I swear we do go out every once and awhile, but we are usually ready to get home by the end of the night. So, that is the perfect example to lead me to my next date night tip:
Do something you both enjoy for 75% of your date nights. The other 25% should incorporate each other's hobbies you usually do independently.
For example, my husband loves when I farm with him or help him fix things. So, sometimes that is our date. I personally love it when he does something active with me like roller-blading, horseback riding, or bike riding. Meet them on their own "turf" every once in awhile.
I had a lot of people ask me how Seth and I stick to a date night schedule. Well, it doesn't always happen. Life is busy, but we do try to make it a high priority because it is so vital to us and our relationship. If you miss a week every now and then, that is okay! Just pick up where you left off.
So, what if I asked you to do a challenge that involved just five dates? They just may help carry those Valentines Day vibes from one day to another! Things that function well - relationships included - take time to build. They also need "maintenance" work. To have a successful relationship, you need to put in the work to keep it thriving. Never put your relationship on the back burner!
1. No phones for at least an hour.
2. Try to be spontaneous.
3. No friends or family; this is about spending time with each other.
4. Get far away from responsibilities that could be distracting.
The five dates are split up like this - two dates chosen by the wife, two dates chosen by the husband. One date chosen together. For each person: one date you choose is something you picked because you want to do it, and the other because you know your spouse would love it, even if you do not. Then, switch. After the first four dates, you then pick something together. This can be anything you want it to be, as long as you decide together.
I hope you all enjoy this challenge! It may be the start of a trend in your relationship to rekindle that little spark you were looking for.
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Kylie and her husband, Seth, are pictured above. Her favorite Bible verse is Isaiah 6:8 ("Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?" And I said, "Here am I. Send me!") and the duo enjoy working on their farm and dating each other!