Singleness = Adventure!

One night when I was driving home from spending time with some married friends, I questioned why singleness can often time feel like a synonym for loneliness. Have you ever felt that way too? As I was questioning this, I turned on some spiritual music to fill the void of loneliness that was creeping in ever so quickly. I came to a song called “Lean Back” by Capital City Music. One of the lyrics in the song goes, “Now I can see Your love is better than all the others that I’ve seen. I am breathing deep all your goodness, your loving-kindness to me.” 

In that moment, God reminded me His love is better than all the others. His love is better than that of my family, my friends, and the hardest one to remember, any of my exes.

He also blessed me with the most beautiful image that night. As I was alone, driving, weeping at His love for me, He told me that singleness is in fact the opposite of loneliness. Whenever another person is around, whether that be a friend or a boyfriend, we have to see Jesus through them. However, when we are single, roaming this world on our own, traveling on our own, sitting still on our own, we can picture Jesus right there with us. As I was driving, I looked at the seat next to me and imagined Jesus sitting right there. Tears started flooding out of my eyes

Being single was never intended or designed by God to be a lonely thing. Our world twisted and convoluted singleness into a synonym for loneliness. But by God’s definition, singleness is a oneness with Jesus. Instead of walking through life with another person & Jesus, we get to be fully aware of Jesus’ presence with us. All we have to do is tap in. When you get into the car, tap into the fact that Jesus is sitting right next to you. If you go to church alone, save a spot for Jesus. If you travel by yourself, remind yourself of Jesus traveling right alongside with you and view that adventure from His eyes. Singleness is a hyper awareness of a fullness and oneness with Jesus. Isn’t this a game changer? To me, from that moment in time, I refused to look at singleness as loneliness, I decided to look at singleness as an adventure with my Jesus. I hope if you’re in a similar stage of life, that you are able to do the same. All you have to do is tap in, remember?

I call singleness an adventure because I truly believe it is one. Think of some of things that you always wish that you could change about yourself. Think about some of the places that you always wish that you could visit. Think about the event that you always wish you could attend. Now is your time. I promise you that when you start to date someone, when you start to get close to marriage, those things are still possible, but they become harder to do. Your priorities shift and your free time shortens. So my honest, true advice, is to pursue those things now. Let me give you two examples of how I’ve tried my best to pursue this in my own life. The first is exercise. I have always wanted to be someone that exercised on a regular basis, someone that made a conscious effort to work out, but to no avail. I even developed a sense of pride over my lazy lifestyle and put a 0.0 sticker on my car at one point... crazy right?! Anyways, after my most recent breakup, I started to prioritize exercise. In an effort to be physically healthy, I would work out every day (starting slow, not sure totally what to do at the gym), but I somehow found my way. I spoke to friends, I received encouragement from others, and I found myself enjoying it. I found myself fitting it into my routine. What’s more, I actually found it to be a very healing thing in my life. It helped me process my breakup, made me proud of myself, and released endorphins that brought me joy at the end of my work days. And I felt extremely accomplished. Can you think of something similar in your own life that you’ve been putting off but really wish that you could achieve one day?

Alright, so the second thing, the more important item that I’ve been pursuing in my opinion. Prayer. After my most recent breakup, I began to dive into prayer. And not just praying to God, but listening to God. Letting it be a two-way street. I started to wake up earlier and spend time with God in my mornings. Let me pause here though. I LOVE sleep. Ask any of my friends and they will tell you that it’s one of my favorite things so this was super hard for me. The second thing I want to mention is that I wasn’t perfect at this. I didn’t wake up every single day as early as I wanted to, but I’ve been working on it. And it’s been especially encouraging that the days I do wake up early and pray have been some of my favorite days of the week, the least tired days of the week, and the days that I see more of Jesus, more joy, and live more fully. Prayer is the key to unlocking this season of adventure. When we talk to God, He talks back. But often times we don’t hear Him because we don’t want to hear what He has to say or we aren’t sitting quiet enough or still enough to hear from Him. Wherever you are in life, I promise you that cultivating an active prayer life will be something that you never regret.

Either way, singleness is a time to pursue the things we always wish we would. I’ll leave you with a beautiful image God gave me one time about riding a rollercoaster. It has its ups, it has its downs, but through it all, we can either choose to enjoy the ride or be afraid the whole time. And when we get off the ride, we might just surprise ourselves and want to ride again. That’s how I feel about the season of singleness. There are days that are extremely hard (the downs); days when we value companionship, yearn to share our life with someone, want to love someone and be loved in return. But on the flip side, there are days that are extremely joyful and fruitful (the ups), days of laughter with friends, days of independence, times when we travel and invest in others and ourselves more fully than we thought possible. And there have been times when just like when we get off the ride, when we start to date again, that we want to ride again, we want to be single again. Isn’t that amazing how that can change? I’ve definitely felt that in my own life. There have been times where I was dating and wished I was single so I could better encourage single friends, where I wished that my mood didn’t have to flip instantly when my boyfriend did something to upset me, when I missed my full independence. Equally so, there are countless times where I wished I was dating when I was single. The point is that there are hard and good things about both stages of life.

You don’t know when your last time to ride the ride of singleness will be. And you can either choose to enjoy the adventure along the way or be afraid the whole time. I don’t know about you, but I think it would be a whole lot more fun to enjoy the ride while it lasts. Because we just might find ourselves wishing we could go on one more time, remembering good times in the ups and even in the downs. I don’t want to live this season waiting for someone [boyfriend or a husband], I want to live this season living for someone, that someone being Jesus.

For everyone waiting for the right guy, for their person to come into their life, read the Bible verse below and be encouraged that God’s perfect timing of receiving all of His good gifts will not delay. Wait for it. Pray for it. And most certainly, live a life of adventure with Jesus in the meantime.

“For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to an end – it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.” – Habakkuk 2:3

Our dear Jenny has a heart of God, loves to hangout with friends, travel, spend time outdoors, and find joy in the little moments of life. She makes her home in Raleigh, NC.