Milk and Honey Magazine - you are capable of being your own person, lovely girl. God has a plan!

Yes - You're Capable

Paige Weslaski

Flashback four years ago. My dear Alpha Phi sorority sister and I were in Calabasas, California enjoying a yummy dinner at Le Pain Quotidien, a magical little cafe accompanied by flickering candles, warm bread, and the occasional celebrity sitting next to you on the (very French) community tables.

I distinctly remember our conversation. We were chatting about where we ultimately wanted to end up in life. We shared our innermost dreams, of which were practically identical. We both wanted to get married early. We both wanted to be stay-at-home wives and (eventually) moms. We both wanted to find a man who was settled and (financially/ethically) stable. We wanted a calm life with a pretty house and PTA meetings and brunches and yoga classes. Maybe we'd write a book or two in our spare time and get involved with a couple philanthropies. We wanted a life of tranquility and harmony and balance and serenity with a (hard-working) man at our side we could support.

Four years have passed, and we did not immediately get married after college like our life-maps had outlined for us. Instead, we both lifted up our chins, got our own jobs, and have been in the professional, working world now for exactly two years (since graduation).

Our jobs are both full-time, high-intensity, communications-based, and (generally) high pressure. Our days consist of presentations and plenty of off-site meetings and high clickity-clackity heels. Our 40-hour work weeks are a far cry from the mid-morning yoga classes/coffee runs/kissing-the-husband-goodbye plans we had on our original life docket. We were forced to become independent women who could take care of ourselves.

I have so many wonderful girlfriends who are extremely happily married. They trusted in God's plan and knew it was the right man, the right timing, and the right situation. However, four years ago - I wanted a marriage for the wrong reasons. I envisioned a relaxing life where I was more or less taken care of. I didn't know I was capable of financially taking care of myself, having been managed by mom and dad all my life, and figured the one-way ticket to a consistent life was finding a good man, right away.

Because of that skewed thinking, God knew the timing was wrong. How could He have possibly given me a marriage with my improper rational? He knew exactly what I really needed - to learn to become an independent woman before stepping anywhere near a potential His-and-Hers bath set.

 Proverbs 31, the guide to becoming a wife with the most glamorous of hearts, explains "strength and honor are the clothing of a Godly wife." God desperately knew my strength and honor were not yet up to par. I needed to gird myself in truth and faith long before I could step into a balanced marriage.

What type of man wants a woman who can't take care of herself on her own? Not a man we want to settle with.

In short - do not be discouraged as a single woman in your twenties. Chances are, you are single because God is prepping you for the plans He has in store for your life. He will not bring anything ill-fitting upon you, especially in terms of a spouse.

You are capable, my dear. You can take care of yourself, God created you as a whole person. You don't need another half to become whole.

Keep your chin high and your faith solid. Don't for one second believe you need to look incompetent to attract a man; any man intimidated by your success is not the one. Be yourself, chase your dreams, run toward your goals, and trust in Christ to handle all the details of your love life.