Build Up Your Husband

I recently read (and shared with my husband) an article titled 10 Ways to Reset Your Wife. Both my husband and I appreciated the content of the article but I felt that it deserved a rebuttal of sorts! So here it is, my 10 Ways to Reset Your Husband:

1. Make a list of his favorite things

Men, like women, appreciate it when the things they enjoy are remembered by their spouse! I am a big gift giver (it drives my poor husband crazy over the holidays). But I keep a running list of things he has mentioned throughout the year that he likes or enjoyed so that I can consider those options for the holidays, his birthday or just because presents. For example, my husband is a local beer lover and we missed a beer festival so I went to get him some nice local beer as a surprise. It doesn’t take much for someone to feel appreciated and remembered!

2. Pay attention to what he does when you are out of the house

What does your husband do when you have girl night or are away on a trip? Mine plays League of Legends with his brothers, grabs a beer with some guy friends or watching something zombie related, to name a few. So I pay attention to that and try to make time for him to do these things more often than when I am out of the house! (Although, I’m fine if zombie movies happen when I’m not there.)

3. Write words of encouragement

I try to love on my guy all the time but sometimes he needs it written down! So occasionally I leave notes around the house for him to find telling him how much I love him. These can be fun quotes, love notes or simply telling your husband you are proud of him (or that you find him sexy…it never gets old).

4. Do the things the feminist side of you hates

So I definitely would be considered a modern day feminist to some degree. And we have a very equal home where we support each other constantly. That’s why it is so special and appreciated when I do things like make breakfast, do all the dishes, clean up his plate or even…make him a sandwich. I don’t do this all the time but I tell you what, doting on my husband in this way is appreciated.

5. Grow together spiritually – in a group and as a couple

We prioritize a small group with our church so that we can grow together in a group and outside of that group. We read challenging literature together, we talk and debate together and we find community outside of the two of us. It is so important.

6. Initiate

And I mean this in a lot of ways. Initiate ideas for dates, initiate alone time, snuggles, etc.. (What guy doesn’t like snuggles?!) It means a lot to my husband to have me be the driving force of some ideas since he shouldn’t have to all the time!

7. Be your inner goof ball

Guys are not nearly as tightly wound as women, usually at least. So when I can be a little less serious, crack some really bad jokes or do something else humorous, my husband LOVES IT. I try to not be too serious around him because I know that he doesn’t need me to be pulled together, perfect or prettied up to think that I am the cutest thing ever. (Although I will continue to disagree with that description.)

8. Dress up some, just for fun

My husband really loves it when I get all dressed up for dates (not the fancy restaurant kind). It makes him feel special because I’m dressing up for him, not the dress code of the restaurant!

9. Brag about him

Brag about your husband in public. This can be your coworkers, friends or random people if your spouse comes up in conversation. But I will seriously never get tired of telling people about my husband and his amazing achievements. When he’s around, hearing me praise him is an even greater treat.

10. Never take him for granted

Every situation is different. Right now, I am the “bread winner” financially speaking. But my husband is working tens of hours every week to grade papers, write grants and work on his research. He is working so hard right now so that he can provide us with an amazing future. I don’t take that for granted. Because I could have a husband who is married to his graduate program instead of me and that would be devastating. So I hope I never treat him as though I take him for granted and I guarantee that if you don’t take your husband for granted and appreciate the amazing work he puts in, he will blossom.