Christian women who are single CAN be happy! Tips!

How To Be Single With A Single Focus on God

Kourtney Gage

“Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” - Matthew 6:34
If you're anything like me, you've probably thought (from time to time) “why am I still single?” or “man, it would be nice to be married.” In that case, you are not alone! Being single can be hard, yes, but let me serve as a beacon of hope for you that it's also incredibly rewarding!
In my senior year of high school, I went through my first breakup, and let’s just say, trying to get over it was more challenging than I thought. I didn’t want it to end and, let’s be real, I did not want to be single! I wanted to go on cute picnic dates and watch movies together. I wanted the ability to post pictures together and be able to tell people “I have a boyfriend!”. I didn’t want to be single again because I liked knowing I had someone. If I could go back, I'd tell my 18-year-old self being single is not bad (!) and life will be good during the upcoming waiting season. And sure, I had my ups and downs, but through the singleness, I learned who God called me to be and how to fully trust in Him. I may not have ended up with the person I thought I loved at the time, but it's so exciting to know the Lord has the perfect person in place for me in the future.
The Lord knows who your "special person" will be, and when they will arrive. I know it’s hard waiting, and I know you just want to know, like, now. It’s hard seeing all your friends go on dates and get married. It’s hard dating someone with things going south. It’s hard withstanding a breakup and questioning why it went wrong. But again, the Lord’s timing is perfect.

So, how can we make being single easier? Let me give you some tips!

  1. To start, you have to understand you aren’t actually alone! I know "singleness" sounds like you’re all alone with no one by your side, but that is not true. Matthew 28:20 states “ I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” You may not have a boyfriend to cuddle with or a girlfriend to watch movies with, but you have Jesus, who will never leave you nor forsake you! You will never be alone, ever. So, start by reminding yourself that you do have someone by your side.
  2. Then, you need to remind yourself that your worth does not come from having a significant other. You don’t need someone to tell you they love you or that you are beautiful because the Lord has already said these things about you. Your worth is not defined by if you have someone or not!
  3. Change your view on what singleness is. Look at singleness as an opportunity rather than a burden. Singleness is a part of God’s plan for you; don’t let it block a door of opportunity because you are so focused on wanting a relationship that you miss something amazing. Use that time to grow closer to the Lord (read your Bible more, have worship parties, go on a mission trip). Use it as a time to heal your heart and mind. Use it as a time to learn new things or take up a hobby! Use it as a time to serve others and to explore more of who you are. Look at singleness as a blessing rather than a curse!
  4. Remember that being in a relationship is not your purpose. God loves you no matter what and He had a plan set out for you before you even thought about getting into a relationship. He has a great plan for you, and He wants to use you. Pray and ask the Lord to show you what that purpose is. Let Him work through you and use you while you are single.
  5. Surround yourself with other single Christians. Let others lift you up and be there for you. Find a good Bible study group to go to. Go on coffee dates with your friends. Find a church community to be a part of.

Again, being single can be hard, but so much good can come from it if you allow it! It's far from a curse; the Lord will use it to bless you. Be patient and trust. For He knows the plans He has for you. 

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
How will you use your singleness season? How will you let the Lord work through you? Next time you are worried about being single, remind yourself that this season has a purpose, even if you can’t see it now! 

Let's Pray, Ladies!

Jesus, thank you for the person who is reading this. They might be questioning why they are single, or they might be hurting from a past relationship. Whatever their season is right now, Lord, you see them, and you hear them. I pray you put a blessing in their life, that you open up doors for them, and that you give them an “a-ha” moment for why things happened the way they did. I pray during their waiting you give them opportunities to share your goodness with others. Whatever their story might be, may they see you the whole way through. Lord, thank you for the singleness season. Thank you for knowing the right time and place we'll potentially meet "our person".  Lord, give those who feel weak strength and those who are confused, peace. Let us look up to you always. Thank you that our story is not over yet. I hope that whoever is reading this will see you and trust you with their plans. Let the singleness season be a blessing to all and let those who are in it know that they are loved by you and that their worth is defined by you, not being single! Thank you, Jesus, for you are oh-so-good! Amen!

Kourtney Gage provides Christian tips for single girls to be happy!

Kourtney Gage is a faith-filled Christian who loves long conversations with friends and worship parties after church. She is currently studying psychology at Evangel University in hopes to become a counselor in the future. She published her first book “The Race You Don’t Have to Run” in May of 2021 and is currently working on her second! She loves all things sunflowers and peach sweet tea. You can catch her talking for hours with someone at a coffee shop or taking pictures with friends. She loves you all and is excited to write more!