Milk and Honey Magazine puts an end to the comparison game for young women. Be encouraged through Jesus, pretty girl, and read Author Ashley Mae's comparison tips!

3 Truths About Comparison

Ashley Mae Fernandez

Author Ashley Mae pictured above

I see you girl.. you’re over there wrapped up in a chair scrolling on Instagram at all the perfect photos and you’re starting to compare your worth to hers. Or, maybe you’re not even looking at social media and instead you are looking at that engaged couple in the corner and wish so badly you weren’t single. Or, you could be busting your tail at a dead end job (or not even have a job at all), or trying to start a business that keeps getting stalled while you watch this other person climb the ladder and succeed faster than you can blink.

Whatever your scenario, I’ve been there.

Growing up I had always been the “chubby” one and even earned the nickname “fatback” in my family. So, in high school, I desperately wanted that super skinny body. So much so that over Christmas break my freshman year, I ate 100 calories a day. Over a 2 week period, I ended up losing 10 pounds and I got the most compliments I had ever gotten in my life. Everyday, I would compare myself to other girls around me and wanted so desperately what they had so I did whatever it took to get me there.

Fast forward to college when I saw all these cute couples holding hands on campus. Why wasn’t I getting asked out by any guys? It seemed everyone paired up at orientation and that was it. So, what did I do? I went to parties and met guys I shouldn’t have even talked to. I wore clothes that were a little too revealing and would go to clubs I had no business being in because I wanted male attention.

Fast forward to graduation when all my friends were getting job offers and I was hearing crickets. I had WORKED MY BUNS off to graduate with a 3.8 GPA and people who never even came to class were getting job offers left and right. SO, YOU SEE, I KNOW ALL ABOUT THE COMPARISON GAME. I’ve fallen victim to it SEVERAL TIMES. It’s hard and I want you to know you are not alone.

Milk and Honey Magazine puts an end to the comparison game for young women. Be encouraged through Jesus, pretty girl, and read Author Ashley Mae's comparison tips!

Even after becoming a Christian, I struggled with this.. and I have been battling REALLY hard since I’ve been taking this blogging thing on full time. I have literally found myself so frustrated looking at everyone around me and seeing their “successes” while I’ve been working my tail off to feel like I’ve only moved an inch. HAVE YOU EVER FELT THAT WAY? RAISE YOUR HAND GIRLFRIEND! But, I wanted to share something with you that God literally smacked me in the face with the other week! I had the pleasure of hearing a sermon that hit me like a TON of bricks. Basically this sermon told the parable of the three talents. Now, what I found interesting is that talents in this story actually meant gold, but when we hear the word talent we immediately think of abilities.

So if you’re not familiar with this story, basically, a master entrusted his 3 servants with a certain amount of gold each. The first man got 5 talents, the second man got 2 talents and the last man got 1 talent. The first and second man decided to “put his talents to work” and ended up getting back double. While, the last man went and buried his talents in the ground out of fear  When the master came back, the first 2 men presented their doubled talents to their master and he replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’ Then the third man came up and told his master he was afraid so he dug a hole and buried his talent. His master replied “You wicked and lazy servant”. You see, the last servant did not OBEY his master. He was filled with fear.

So what does this have to do with comparison? I can take away 3 truths about comparison from this story.

Milk and Honey Magazine puts an end to the comparison game for young women. Be encouraged through Jesus, pretty girl, and read Author Ashley Mae's comparison tips!

❥ Truth #1: You're Telling God He Messed Up

So, first, I want to point out that when the 3 servants all got different amounts of talents, they didn’t compare their amount to the other. The one who got 2 didn’t say.. well why did HE GET 10 and I only get 2? No, instead, they went on their way and used the talents they were given to glorify their master. Then at the very end, the master tells both the first and second man that they were BOTH good and faithful servants, showing that he did not compare the two because one brought back 10 and the other brought back 4.


God made you unique and in HIS image. When he created you, he carefully thought of every single detail, every desire in your heart, every dream that fills your soul.. every single detail. SO, hating something about yourself or comparing yourself to someone else is literally telling the creator of the Universe that he messed up. God also does not compare you to anyone else. We are not called to be like other Christians, we are called to be like Christ. So, why are you spending your time looking at how other people are spending their talents and not using the talents God gave you?

❥ Truth #2: You're Prideful or Fearful

When you compare what you have or what you are to someone else, you are not using the talents God gave you. Instead you are like the last servant who buried his talents in the ground out of fear. Now, when we think of fear, we usually think scared… or for me I think about seeing a snake.. because there is NOTHING I hate more than a snake, haha!

But actually fear in this story means unfaithful. Most people think the opposite of faith is doubt but its actually fear. It is literally written in the Bible 365 times “DO NOT FEAR”, so when we fear, we are showing no faith in God.

The truth is, comparison creates two things. The first is pride. When you compare yourself to someone and you think you’re better than them then you become prideful (which is a sin). The second is fear. When we look at someone else and what God has given them we start to not have faith in God and fear we will never be as good as that person we are comparing ourselves to. HEAR ME, WHEN I SAY THIS.. BE THE YOU GOD CREATED YOU TO BE. Be The YOU God Created YOU to be! He took precious time to plan out EVERY single detail about you. Have confidence in that! He is not comparing you to ANYONE else, so why should you?

Milk and Honey Magazine puts an end to the comparison game for young women. Be encouraged through Jesus, pretty girl, and read Author Ashley Mae's comparison tips!

❥ Truth #3: Comparison Leads To Disobedience

Now, this one hits me right where it hurts because I feel this is something I have struggled SO hard with. I want to address a few different situations in this topic.

✔ First, the single girl… Now, I have been married for almost 3 years and its been a while since I was single.. BUT, if there is one thing I see over and over again it is the single girl SO impatient with God about her current season of life. Look, I’ve been there.. I remember seeing all those couples and wanting SO badly what they had. But when I look back now, I realized that God had me in that season for a reason and I wish so desperately I could go back and soak up that time and really glorify God in it.

When I was single, instead of focusing on the plan God had for me, I was trying to create my own plan of finding a good man and not being alone.Sound familiar?  Hear me when I say this… YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You literally have the KING of the universe going before you and walking with you every day. He has plans for you that you can’t even IMAGINE.. so why are you trying to make your own plans? BY NOT BEING FAITHFUL AND PATIENT IN THE SEASON HE HAS YOU IN IS BEING DISOBEDIENT TO GOD.  By not being faithful and patient in the season he has you in is being disobedient to God.

✔ Second, to the girl comparing her calling to someone else’s calling… Oh boy does this hit home for me. When I first started this blogging journey, I wanted SO badly to be successful right off the bat.

I was hoping to write a post and have it go viral and then be an overnight success. I was looking at these other people and getting frustrated at their success and even tried to do what they were doing to gain success. I remember even seeing someone have a post go viral and thinking to myself.. ugh she does not deserve that. (The human heart can be nasty can’t it!?) God quickly showed me, their calling is not my calling. I spent SO many months chasing after something I wanted to do instead of asking God what he wanted me to do. I remember being afraid to even share I was a Christian in fear of losing “followers” because I was so wrapped up in the numbers game.

God was calling me (and still is!) for something and for months I ignored it because I didn’t think I had the resources, timing was horrible (in my opinion) & I doubted that I could do it. But, eventually I took the leap and decided to go for it and even though I have been a passenger on the struggle bus far more than I would like to admit, I know God has a reason for it. You see delayed disobedience is STILL disobedience. When you are too busy being caught up in watching what someone else is doing, you’rewasting time God has given you to go after your calling. It says in Galatians 6:4- “Don’t compare yourself with others. Just look at your own work to see if you have done anything to be proud of. You must each accept the responsibilities that are yours.”

✔ Third, to the girl filled with doubt… hello, old friend! Doubt seems to have been part of my journey from the beginning. I have never really been a very confident person and I have always thought someone could do it better than I could.

When I first became a Christian I doubted even more. But, I realized that almost every single disciple and person in the Bible doubted at some point.Yes, its true! The truth is, we all doubt.. and thats okay. What’s not okay, is having doubt hold you back from God’s calling. I find that I most doubt when I’m uncomfortable and whats ironic is God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust him, pick up the cross and follow him even when we don’t know all the answers.

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I end with this, comparison is an ugly thing.. but you hold the power to not fall victim of it. Lets start gaining confidence in the person God created us to be, stop worrying what others are doing, STOP complaining about your doubt & make moves! Stop burying your talents and go out there and USE them to glorify our creator!

Read more from Ashley Mae!