A day after my 21st birthday, my darkest nightmare came to life. My mother, Sue Elmblad, was diagnosed with stage IV angiosarcoma, a rare and aggressive cancer. I was depressed and hopeless and unsure of where to turn for help. I was just beginning my senior year of college and believed I needed to drop out, at least for the semester. However, my mother encouraged me to stay in school. She said she would be at my graduation in the spring, whether physically or in spirit.
I rediscovered an old book called “The Book of Me” from when I was six years old.
Illustrated in the style of Dr. Seuss, the book contains a variety of miscellaneous questions, everything from “how many freckles do you have?” to “what do you want to be when you grow up?”
Sometimes, life is just too much.
My day has been hard. My long weekend has slipped away too quickly and now I’m cramming to finish my homework before the day is over. I’m on my third cup of coffee and the classical music I thought would calm my nerves seems to be doing the exact opposite.
You may have experienced a few days in the winter when the chill sets in, not only in your fingers and toes, but in your mind and mood as well. It’s a little harder to push yourself out of bed when you hear the alarm. It’s a little easier to hit the snooze button a few times. It’s a little more common to feel like you haven’t accomplished anything when you’re headed home from work as dusk falls, or you’re headed to the gym because it’s too cold to jog outside.
Late one afternoon, I was sitting in the lobby of this trendy hotel in Nashville, sipping a vanilla latte, reading Isaiah 43. Even in the midst of a relaxing setting and with no pressing agenda, my gypsy soul was feeling restless. I seem to get this way every time I visit Nashville. There’s something about the city that tugs on my heart, calling me to pick up my mess in the city of angels and move it to another city of dreamers. Looking for some peace and clarity about my future, I knew I could open to Isaiah 43 for some peace.
Christmas is just ONE week away! Are you ready? Have you finished your shopping? Put up all your decorations? Sent out all of your cards?
How about your heart? Is your heart prepared for Christmas? To receive our Lord as we celebrate His birth?
Breakups are hard…even the ones that we know are literally the best thing for us. And as we fight like hell to move on, we come upon the golden question…
“I know he was bad for me, so why do I still feel so deeply for him? Why do I still love him? I thought once I got back on track with the Lord, I wouldn’t desire him anymore…but the feelings just continue to increase-growing stronger and stronger.How long will I fight these feelings? I left him in the past, but he is still present in my heart.”
“Remember, ladies,” said the New Member Educator of my sorority, “Now that you’re part of Alpha Phi, you’re always wearing your letters. So stay classy, because it reflects on all of us!”
As a deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God. My soul thirsts for God, the living God. When can I go meet with God? Psalm 42:1-2
Years ago, I self diagnosed myself with major trust issues. For too long I held up a wall, a high and mighty wall that kept people out. I did not take time to get to know them and I never gave them a proper chance to get to know me. Either I thought too highly of myself, or not enough about myself to be in relationship people. And man, was I sorely mistaken. God began to open my eyes to the importance of community. He began to take me by the hand, gently reminding me how much I need people in my life.