Jezebel vs. Abigail: When Taking Charge Is Godly (and When It’s Not)

There’s a tension every Christian woman has likely felt at some point—especially in marriage or leadership: Is it okay to take charge? To speak up? To act boldly?

In a world that often gives us two extremes—either a passive “go-with-the-flow” kind of woman or a domineering “my way or the highway” one—it can feel like there’s no biblical middle ground.

But Scripture actually gives us two striking examples of women who did take charge. Both were married. Both acted in moments of crisis. Both spoke boldly to powerful men.

And yet, one is remembered for her wisdom and righteousness (Abigail), while the other has become synonymous with manipulation and control (Jezebel).

So what made the difference? Let’s unpack their stories—and what they mean for us today.

Meet Jezebel: The Controlling Wife

Jezebel was a Phoenician princess married to King Ahab of Israel (1 Kings 16). From the start, her influence was destructive. She promoted Baal worship, silenced the prophets of God, and manipulated her husband to get what she wanted.

One chilling example: In 1 Kings 21, Ahab is sulking because he can’t get Naboth’s vineyard. Jezebel swoops in, takes over, and orchestrates Naboth’s murder so Ahab can have...Continue Reading